Oh, We’re Here Now?
Maria and I have been busy recording Season 8 (You DID in fact read that right, SEASON 8!) and with our return to the mic, we get the privilege of chatting with people throughout the FTD community (a real honor, if you ask me!) Today, we sat down with a previously featured guest who just fills.my.cup. He is a son whose mother developed FTD and the way he talks about her…. I can’t put it into words. It’s gentle and beautiful and so unbelievably loving (“Max + Jack - you listening??”I said into the void of Zoom as he spoke this afternoon) that it makes you want to be a better person.
At one point, he was referring to a decline in his sweet mama’s trajectory and his response to the shift was:
“Oh - we’re here now.”
And I became frozen. Those four words crept under my skin and transported me back to watching my dad decline, slowly and silently as his own mind caved in on itself. Oh, we’re here now. A new level of degeneration. A new behavior. Losing something. Replacing that “something” with something else more maladaptive. A new loss. A new change. A step closer to the eventible … It’s discouraging, even if you know it’s bound to happen. It feels like welcoming a stage that you’d much rather not be faced with, a sudden shock when you witness it for the first time.
Maria and I often get asked how we “do it.” How do we talk about FTD all day, how do we hear these stories of such heartbreak and deep sorrow? How? What’s our “secret?”
Well, a good magician never tells. Thankfully, though, I am no magic maker. I’m just a girl - ok, a woman - who thinks beauty and pain can co-exist. I love hearing the stories because they are so full of love and adoration. I love chatting about the hard because it makes the soft so much more delicate and exceptional and extraordinary.
But mostly, the journeys that are shared with us are full of resilience, kindness, and grace making our job behind the mic so much sweeter. And, seeing human beings being vulnerable and exposed is something we hold very closely to our hearts. It’s an honor, really. Both Maria and I resonate deeply with the feelings and emotions expressed in each episode and there is nothing that connects people stronger than a shared experience.
And that shared experience is what cultivates community, unity, and support - a Remember Me goal, if i do say so myself. So hearing these tragic tales doesn’t force us to “talk about FTD” all day. They bring humility, empathy, and understanding to having to say goodbye to our parents.
It’s funny (not funny ha ha) that 4 words can alter the course of your day. But I think what’s deeper is that behind the four words spoken into the universe, there is camaraderie. Oh, we’re here now…… And - we’re here together.
